Coping With Life's LazyBoy Chairs

I do a lot of weird things. Last night, I became conscious of one them that had become so second-nature, I forgot I even do it.

Whenever I'm in some sort of overwhelming or generally suckish situation, I pause for a moment to commit to memory this one moment of crushing dread. I then think about how great it will be when I'm on the other side of whatever is weighing me down and can think back on the moment and say "Yay! That's over!" This somehow provides me with a small comfort, and motivation to get through whatever it is I need to do.

I realized I was doing this last night. I was laying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, dreading the seemingly insurmountable amount of homework that lay ahead of me. Mother had forced me into an impromptu shopping trip for my brother, thus reducing my homework time by several pointless hours. I lay there, scanning my mental to-do list and dreading entering the homework-filled abyss. So I paused, and studied myself. I thought about how I felt, looked, and generally was.

A few hours later, three printed essays (one with three individual versions), an annotated article, a read 30 page boring textbook chapter later, I was again lying in bed, this time for slumber. I thought back to that moment earlier, before the homework was completed, and smiled. I'd gotten through it. I was somehow better than the person lying in almost the same place a few hours earlier. Accomplishment.

I know. I'm weird.

Realizing this bizarre thought process, I wondered why I do it. I think it all started when I was pretty young, maybe 6 or 7. My parents had travelled a few hours away from home to buy a new LazyBoy chair for the living room. I was with them. After purchasing the chair, they realized it wasn't going to fit in the back of the car. They had to stuff parts of it in the backseat, where I sat. For some reason, this required leaning heavy chair parts on my then-little legs. It was possibly the most uncomfortable physical position I've ever endured. The chair pressed my legs with enough pressure to restrict blood flow and I was so afraid they wouldn't awaken when the burden was finally lifted. (I was young, okay?) So I thought, "Think about how good it will feel when you get to crawl out from under this thing!" And, indeed, it felt great when after what felt like an eternity, the chair was removed. Ever since then, this same technique has gotten me through all of life's most unpleasant moments.

I bet you all are thinking, "Imagine how great it will be when I finish reading this blog post and can go on with my life..." Wish granted.