Together We Are Carolina

I felt so many emotions Wednesday night: anxiety, nausea, anticipation, pride, shock, anger, frustration, helplessness.

Many say it's dramatic that such emotions are channeled into a basketball game--a completely arbitrary competition on which nothing intrinsically valuable depends.

But a lot does depend on it. Many of the sad faces in the crowd at the end of the game were wearing shirts emblazoned with the basketball team's motto: "Together We Are Carolina." We hate Duke together; we win together; we lose together. Right now, a huge group of students just passed the library window, making quite the racket protesting tuition hikes. Together, we make a difference.

The UNC Duke rivalry is often set in stereotypical terms, but I think the underlying value systems of the universities are really at odds, giving the competition a personal, emotional edge. UNC, lovingly dubbed "public ivy," is about accessible, affordable, quality education. You can come from nothing and come to UNC: cost is never a deterrent. It's about inclusion, not exclusivity. People are easy-going. Carolina blue embodies a campus that values social change, progressive ideas (except when it comes to Gender Neutral Housing *grumble grumble*), and diversity.

Duke is an expensive, private school. It's for the privileged, people who like calling themselves the elite. As a result, they're whitewashed. The privileged portions of society don't have any interest in changing the status quo. Duke's in a different paradigm completely.

Then take these two clashing ideologies about education and privilege, stick them within eight miles of on another, then make them compete for some of the best and brightest minds and athletes and professors in the world, and you get one hell of a rivalry, all culminating in those basketball games.

So winning is not about comparing Austin Rivers and Tyler Zeller. Winning is not about free throw percentages or three point plays. It's about loving your school and believing in it so much that you want it to be the best at absolutely everything. It's about passion.

That five minutes of stunned silence permeating Chapel Hill at the end of the game? Even though it was one of the worst feelings in the world, I wouldn't trade it. I love being part of this place. All of that emotion makes me okay with shouting at the end of the fight song, every time we sing it:

GO TO HELL DUKE!

Passionate People

Sometimes, I think there's nothing so great in the world than a person who is passionate about something.

There's something enchanting, attractive, magnetic about a passionate person. They're the people that people gather around. They inspire the groups that inspire change. People want to be where the action is, and sometimes you can just feel potential radiating from people.

That's why local news channels always feature "hometown heroes"--people pursuing passions in their little communities, with captivated local audiences looking to them to see some good in the world. End the newscast on this happy note, and people will associate the station with passionate people.

Maybe my life is just a pursuit of these individuals. By putting yourself in proximity, you can hope for a little of their magic to rub off on you. I attended gifted programs in elementary school taught by passionate people and ended up with a passion for reading. My high school was created by a group of passionate people, and I ended up with a passion for education. I've always been a compulsive club-joiner; I like the feeling of sitting in a room of people with a common purpose and understanding, all working towards the same goal. When everybody comes together to create something successful, each person adding something that wouldn't have been there without them, it sparks little seeds of passion in all the participants.

Every day, I grow a little more sure that I'm supposed to be a teacher. Teachers are in a prime position to notice sparks of passion in students and ignite them. And maybe they'll rub off a little on me, too.

Sweet Reassurance

Today, I got a taste of my possible future. I liked it. This is reassuring.

I liked the frantic feeling in the air that signifies something is about to happen. People in suits running everywhere. The abnormal events just make everything feel different; the air is different. I love that feeling. I want to chase that feeling.

And document it. I was afraid that my notes were inadequate and that I wouldn't be able to force the words out of my head and onto the paper. I sat, staring for a brief moment at the blinking cursor, impatiently urging me to write something. I started to type. It was rough at first, but the words did come. And they weren't half bad.

After my teacher read them, she made sure I wanted to do this for the rest of my life. I confidently answered yes. I'm glad those words were in me, that confidence was in me, that passion is in me. This was the kind of reassurance I needed to give me the motivation to power through this year. I was losing faith in my ability to do much of anything. Today, I tasted a little of my old fervor.

Now I'm excited for the future. Temporarily, at least. =]